Waves of Memories – Kabanata 44

November 19, 2016 By In Waves of Memories 1 Comment

Kabanata 44
Secret

Tumuwid ako sa pagkakatayo. Ang asul na dagat ay marahang humahampas sa aking dibdib. Nag-aagaw sa langit ang kulay kahel at ang dilim. Umihip ang panggabing hangin habang natutulala ako sa tanawin.

A heavy thing is lifted up somewhere within me. Maginhawa ang pakiramdam ko. I feel so light. Nawalan ng bagahe ang bawat parte ng katawan ko. Pati ag puso ko’y wala nang nararamdamang bigat o kahit anong nakadagan.

Ang tinig ng marahang rumagasang alon ang narinig ko. Ayaw pakawalan ng mga mata ko ang lumulubog na araw. My eyes is fixed and I couldn’t stop myself from staring even if I tried. The shock of knowing everything filled me but it made me feel so light.

Warm fingers touched my arm. Or at least that’s how I felt. O ‘di kaya’y guni-guni ko lang iyon? Hindi kaya alon lamang iyon? Hindi ko alam dahil nanatili akong tulala.

But when my other elbow’s touched with warm fingers again, bumaba na ang tingin ko sa aking braso. Before I could violently react to the stranger behind me, he spoke.

“You can’t escape…” the familiar baritone whispered.

Nanginig ang kalamnan ko nang napagtanto kung sino iyon. I can’t believe it. It’s like a dejavu. No… it is dejavu. Sinundan niya ako nang umalis ako ng Maynila pagkatapos kong malaman ang tungkol sa kanila ni Lynea. Sinundan niya rin ako ngayon dito.

I can’t help but notice how similar my decisions were. And in the end, I’ll find my way back to him. Or he finds a way to make me come back to him. Damn, he’s so good at that.

Bumagsak ang balikat ko. My heart ached but it’s a borderline between sadness and happiness. Gusto kong umiyak at yakapin siya ng mahigpit pero sa dami ng nararamdaman ko’y hindi ko na mapasunod ang katawan ko.

The heat of his chest covered the whole of my back. Naramdaman ko rin ang basang tela ng kanyang shorts sa aking baywang. He closed the space between us. Nabasa ko ang kanyang dibdib.

“I don’t want you leaving each time a problem shows up. Please…” his voice is gentle.

Kaonti ay humilig ako sa kanyang katawan. Now, I understand almost everything he told me. Maging itong sinabi niya sa akin ngayon.

“Why did you leave, Thraia?”

Kinagat ko ang labi ko. His chin found their way on my shoulder. Nagkasya iyon na tila roon iyon nararapan. He kissed my shoulder blades.

Ngumuso ako. Hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin sa kanya na naaalala ko na ang lahat.

“Your family dislikes me,” maliit at nanginginig ang boses ko.
“Is that enough reason to leave? Hmm…”

Tumindig ang balahibo ko roon. Tiningnan ko ang mga daliri ko. Nagmamarka parin kung saan ko nilagay ang singsing noon. It’s still on my bag. I don’t wear it anymore because I thought the marriage isn’t true.

He captured my hands. Pinagsalikop niya ang aming mga daliri nang pinalupot niya ang kanyang braso sa aking katawan.

“You’re still bound to marry Lynea-”
“I am married to you,” putol niya sa akin sabay lapit sa aking tainga. “Thraia, you are my wife.”

Mas lalong tumaas ang nguso ko. We got married on that ship but that doesn’t mean that we are married legally.

“Nobody can make me marry someone else.”

Nangingiliti ang kanyang hininga sa aking tainga. Tumindig ang balahibo sa aking batok.

Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay at hinaplos ang aking ring finger. He brushed the tan lines on it. Pareho kaming nakatingin doon.

“I am not going back to Manila just yet,” sabi ko.
“Then we’re not going back to Manila.”
“What about your business. You’re the CEO of MERC, Ali. That’s a big responsibility.”
“I never cared about the money.” Binaon niya ang kanyang ilong sa aking leeg.

Huminga ako ng malalim para ma kontento ang baga kong tila ‘di napupuno. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa akin galing sa likod. Nilingon ko siya at nagtama ang ilong naming dalawa. Umawang ang labi ko. I kissed him a little. Umawang din ang labi niya sa halik ko.

Kilalang kilala ko pala talaga siya. Ginaya niya ang maliit na dampi ng aking labi. Umangat ang kanyang pagkakayakap sa akin.

“I want a life with just us two,” paos kong wika.
“We’ll have a life just us two, I promise,” he whispered in the same intensity.
“What about kids?” halos matawa ako.

Nagulat siya roon. Pansin ko ang pagkakatigil niya ng konti bago tuluyang nagsalita.

“Ilan ang gusto mo?” tanong niya na tila ba kaya niyang ibigay sa akin ang kahit ano.
“I haven’t thought about that.” Humalakhak ako. “Hmm. Maybe after a year?”
“Whatever you want, Thraia.”
“For now, I just want to properly experience you…”

Isang mura ang marahang pinakawalan niya. I never thought curses were funny and erotic at the same time. Iba talaga kapag siya. At naiirita ako sa bilis ng pintig ng puso ko, parang ‘di pa nasasanay na ganito talaga ang pinaparamdam ng lalaking ito.

“I’ll give you the best experience,” natutuwa niyang sinabi.

Uminit ang pisngi ko nang may ibang naiisip. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa aking labi. His arm hugged me tightly squishing my breasts. My peaks were attacked with the cold and harsh material of my top.

Dinampian niya ako ng isang malalim na halik. My neck craned just so I could experience him more. He sucked my lip as I try to breathe properly.

Hindi ko namalayang nakapikit na pala ako at tila nagdedeliryo na sa kanyang mga halik. Dumilat ako at pumungay ang mga mata. He smiled. Our nose touched.

Hinawakan ko ang braso niya at hinila siya palapit pa sa akin kahit na iyon na ang pinakamalapit na pwedeng distansya namin.

“Ali, let’s go back to my room, please.”

He looked careful pero sinunod niya naman ang sinabi ko. Hinila ko siya patungo sa pasilyo. Ang isang grupo na nakasabay ko patungo roon ay napatingin sa aming dalawa.

Ngayon ko lang naalala na wala nga pala akong saplot bukod sa aking bikini. Ali’s arm quickly snaked on my stomach. His large hand rested on my abdomen. Natahimik ang grupo nang nakita kami but I am too embarrassed to look at them in the eyes. Lalo na ngayon. Lalo na sa nararamdaman ko ngayon!

I tried to act as calm as possible when I reached the door step. I opened the door and went inside. Sumunod si Ali na sinarado ang pintuan. But before he could take a step forward, I snaked my arm on his nape just so I could kiss him deeper.

He equaled the passion of my kisses. His tongue darted inside my mouth claiming what’s been his for a very long time.

“Thraia, what-”

I didn’t give him a chance to say anything. I just want him. I want him. I miss him. Hindi ko alam kung paano ako nakatagal ng ganoon. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pa ako nalito noon. I was clearly so attracted to him back in Carles. Even before I realized my memories. I was already so attracted that it scared me. And now… nothing could ever scare me anymore.

I will love him dangerously. Kahit na sa magkabilang panig ay maaaring mahulog ako’t masaktan, makikipagsapalaran parin ako. I will never hesitate anymore. I will never, ever let him go or push him away. For any reason. Gaano man ka hirap. Gaano man ka sakit. Not in this lifetime. He’s mine right now. He’s mine till I die.

He’s mine until I cannot hold him anymore!

Yumuko siya para lang mas lalo akong mahalikan. I am pulling him down because I want him buried deeper in my mouth. I want him to feel how much he can own me.

“Fuck, Thraia…” sa isang marahas na mura ay napigtas ang kanyang pasensya.

He scooped my legs and it snaked his hip. Hawak niya ang aking pang-upo. Slowly I started rocking him just so I could feel him fully. It was so easy to do that since he gave me the support I needed.

“Shit!” he cursed and stopped kissing.

Naupo siya sa kama. Tumama ang mga tuhodko sa white sheets at hindi ko na siya pinagbigyang makagalaw pa. I started kissing him passionately. My eyes shot back to my head. His intoxicating taste is filling me.

“We are not doing this,” aniya pero naririnig ko ang matinding pagpipigil.

He kissed my jaw. He licked it down my neck. Kaya bakit hindi natin ito gagawin, huh, Ali?

Kinagat ko ang labi ko nang napagtanto. Hindi ko nga pala sinabi sa kanya na naaalala ko ang lahat. He thinks I didn’t know about our frequent scenes before. At oo, Ali. Gusto kong isipin mong wala akong alam. Dahil sa pangalawang pagkakataon, ulitin man ang lahat. Ikaw parin ang pagbibigyan ko ng aking sarili!

“Please…” I pleaded as I stroke his hair and tried to ride him.

His growing manhood is in between my thighs. The cloth between us is offending. I want to remove it if only I have the strength to do that. Masyado na akong nahihilo ngayon.

I rubbed myself in between him. It distracted his kisses. Ilang mura ang nasabi niya habang ginagawa ko iyon. I just couldn’t relax. I am so hot and I couldn’t contain it. I miss him and I couldn’t express it with words.

Binaba niya ang strap ng aking bikini top. My breasts were free and cold. His warm palm covered it with skill. I moaned at his touch. Umalon ang damdamin ko nang malambot niyang hinalikan ang aking leeg.

My passion burned brighter. While it feels like he’s going gentle on me, I want him so much that slow means torture.

His hand cupped my other breast and I moaned louder. I rubbed myself in his full blast turned on manhood. He’s only wearing a black jersey shorts kaya mas naramdaman ko siya roon. I stopped rocking and allowed his manhood to stand in front of me.

Slowly, I inserted my hand on his shorts. I gently squeezed him that he stopped kissing me. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. His eyes full of desire. He looks intoxicated as well.

Marahan kong hinawakan pataas-baba ang kanya. His overwhelming length made me flush. Ang laki niya.

The familiar rhythm made him rock his body on me. I stroked him more and then he attacked my peaks with his hot kisses. Ako naman ngayon ang halos hindi makapag-isip at hindi makagalaw.

His tongue lashed on my peak. Maingat namang bumaba ang kanyang kamay sa aking tiyan. I cursed because of the anticipation. At halos sabunutan ko siya nang tumigil.

He smiled when he felt my frustration.

“Please, Ali…” halos ‘di ko makilala ang aking boses nang sinabi ko iyon.

Kaya kong magmakaawa. Kaya kong lumuhod ngayon dito matugunan niya lang.

He inserted his hand between my legs. Napalakas ang daing ko nang marahan niyang nahawakan ang aking pagkababae. Bumaba ang hawak niya. I am hot and very wet that it’s embarrassing. When he felt my wetness, he smiled evilly.

His fingers carressed my folds in the familiar rhythm. Sinabayan ko iyon habang tinititigan niya akong mabuti. Hindi ko na maipirmi ang titig ko sa kanya. Every now and then my eyes close because of the pleasure he’s giving me.

Mindless with want, I cried with each attack of his finger. He’s on my entrance. Trying to get in but never fully inside. The torture is the reason why something is building up in me. Paimpit akong napaungol habang patuloy niyang ginagawa iyon.

“Ali…”

Sa bawat pagtatagpo ay unti-unti siyang bumabaon. Mas lalo lamang akong na frustrate. I want him so much! My core is throbbing so fast because of anticipation.

“You like that, huh?”

You idiot! You already know that the first time you touched me there!

“I’ve dreamed of this so many times… I never thought seeing you so eager for real would turn me on so fucking bad…”
“I have dreamed of this, too. So many times…”

Kinagat ko ang labi ko at tuluyan nang naipikit ang mga mata nang naramdaman ang nalalapit na pagsabog dahil sa kanyang daliri.

His mouth covered my mouth as I felt the spasms within me. Pleasure exploded inside me. I let out a long moan, hindi pa natatapos ay naramdaman kong gumalaw siya.

Patapos pa lang ang ungol ko dahil sa nakaliliyong pagsabog ay inangat niya na ako at binagsak sa kanya. Halos mapunit ang labi ko sa kakakagat.

“I don’t care whatever I lose, just not you…” he whispered.

Tumayo siya at marahas akong binagsak sa kama. My eyes widened when I saw the fire in his eyes. Halos matupok ako noon. The intensity of his need for me sent me shivers down my spine.

Binaba niya ang isang binti ko at inangat ang kanan. He hooked my legs on his arms as he gave me one deep thrust. Napaungol ako.

He wasn’t satisfied. He pulled me back so he could push himself inside more.

“Oh my God!” Napaliyad ako sa kanyang ginawa.

I am completely conquered and filled. Bumaba ang kanyang kamay sa aking gitna. Napadilat ako at napatingin. Seeing him so serious and so turned on almost made me faint. I couldn’t believe that a man so intense like him could desire me this much.

In an instant, he started burying himself quicker in me. He rubbed my jewel as his thrust grew faster. The touch of his finger almost made me scream.

Napahawak ako sa kumot. Pakiramdam ko ay mapupunit ko ang mga iyon!

He thrusted harder and deeper. As I watch him so damn pleasured with what he’s doing, I’ve grown wilder. The veins in his arm protruded as he hooked my legs on it.

The bed creaked as he slammed me back and forth. Swirling his fingers around my swollen folds, I started feeling a threatening burst.

I couldn’t recognize my own voice. Tinatawag ko siya sa paraang hindi ko pa naririnig kailanman. And my voice seemed like a trigger to him. He slammed harder and pinched my bud slower and lighter until the threatening burst exploded!

His pace never faltered, instead it grew rough and desperate. He let out a long groan as his head shot up. His juice filled my core. Pareho naming hinahabol ang aming mga hininga ng ilang sandali bago siya bumagsak para mahalikan ako.

Long silence filled the room right after. Kinalma ko ang sarili ko nang pumasok ako sa bathroom.

Nakatitig ako sa salamin at nakita kong pulang pula ang mukha ko. Even my lips looked swollen from what just happened. Napangiti ako roon. Nagpunas ako ng tuwalya pagkatapos ay pinalupot iyon sa sarili ko bago lumabas.

Nakakababae si Ali. I feel all girly right after what happened that even wearing the towel excites me. Nag-angat agad ako ng tingin sa kanya pagkalabas ko.

Nakatingin siya sa aking suot noong una pero agad na napatingin siya sa aking mukha. Mukha siyang naninimbang. May takot akong nakita sa kanyang mga mata pero mas grabe ang pag-iingat.

Tinalikuran ko siya para humagilap ng damit. Nanatili siyang nakaupo. Only the sheets covered his hips. His thighs down to his legs were naked. Pati na rin ang kanyang dibdib. He looked like a GQ model with those white sheets. Alam ko dahil tinitingnan ko ang repleksyon niya ngayon sa salamin. Nakatingin din siya sa akin.

Kumuha ako ng dress sa aking bag at nagpasyang sa loob na lang ng bathroom magbihis. I can’t seem to calm down when he’s staring at me like that.

Papasok na sana ako ngunit bigla niyang hinawakan ang aking kamay.

“Let’s talk…” he said.

Nilingon ko siya. Well, I want to dress up first but he looks so desperate to talk to me kaya binaba ko ang damit at hinarap siya.

Hinawakan niya ang aking baywang habang siya’y nakaupo parin sa talim ng kama. Hindi ako tumabi sa kanya. Nanatili akong naroon sa kanyang harapan. Ang kanyang talukap ay nakakaakit habang tinitingnan ko siya sa ganitong posisyon. Makes me realize why girls go crazy for him.

“Okay…” marahan kong sinabi.
“What we just did is…” hindi niya matapos. Huminga siya ng malalim at nanatiling nakatitig.
“Wrong?” Nagtaas ako ng kilay.
“You don’t remember everything, Thraia…”

Ngumuso ako. His soulful eyes reminds me so much of the deep sea. Scary, mysterious, vast… but very beautiful.

Nilagay ko ang takas na buhok ko sa likod ng aking tainga. Yumuko ako para maglebel ang aming paningin. Itinuko ko ang aking kamay sa kanyang mga hita. He rose a bit, stunned by my moves.

“I’m sure, Ali. Even if I don’t remember anything, I’ll do it with you…” sabi ko.

Umawang ang kanyang labi. Kitang kita ko ang pagtataka sa kanyang mga mata. I smiled. My heart ached at the sight of him trying so bad to supress happiness.

“I remember you now. I remember everything now. And my heart breaks everytime I remember how I treated you back in Carles…” nanginig ang boses ko.

He looked at me with a bit of shock. I couldn’t move.

“Patawarin mo ako. Sa lahat…” sabi ko.

He bit his lower lip and in one swift move, he scooped my legs back between his hips. Tila nakawala ang kanyang mga halik. He gave me kisses that will surely stay on my lips for years.

His other hand is on the small of my back. Ang isa’y nasa aking panga para mas mahalikan ako ng mas malalim.

Fire burned instantly. My swollen bud started throbbing again.

“Is that your way of asking for forgiveness, huh?” he said in a cold tone.

Kinagat ko ang labi ko at nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. His lips are so red as well.

“Isn’t it enough?” You want more of it?

Ang lamig sa kanyang mga mata ay nagsasabing mapanganib na naman siya ngayon. But he never truly scared me… even before. Just a little thrilled.

“No…” he said coldly as he licked my jaw.
“Then, what can I do?” I said softly locking his jaw between my palms.
“Ipangako mo sa akin na kapag may problema tayo, hinding hindi ka na aalis sa tabi ko,” malamig niyang sinabi.
I smiled. “Pangako… Hmm… Am I forgiven?”

Umiling siya at nakalas ang kamay kong nagkukulong sa kanyang mukha. His hand traced my spine.

“Pakasalan mo ako. Ng legal,” hamon niya na para bang wala siyang tiwalang gagawin ko iyon.

Ngumisi ako sa kanyang hamon. Hindi naalis sa kanyang mga mata ang lamig. Hindi talaga yata siya naniniwalang tutuparin ko iyon.

Sasagot na sana ako ng biglang nakalas ang aking tuwalya. Bahagya akong tumili pero agad niyang hinawakan ang magkabilang dulo noon at muling tinabunan ang aking katawan. Pinagmasdan ko siyang tiim-bagang na ginagawa iyon.

“We’re not doing it again unless you marry me…”

I pouted and tried to kiss his lips pero umiwas siya kaya pisngi ang nahalikan ko. Nakakainis din ang isang ito magtampo! Hindi naman yata natuwa na naalala ko ang lahat lahat!

“Ali!” hinampas ko ang braso niya.

Ang talim ng kanyang paninitig ay mas lalong nagpainit sa akin. Pakiramdam ko ay nagpipigil siya. May pagbabanta sa kanyang mga mata na alam kong kapag pabor sa kanya ay mapupuruhan ako ng husto.

“Fine…” natatawa kong sinabi. “Then we should do it… hmmm. Tomorrow?”
Umiling siya at umangat ang gilid ng labi. “I mean the one done in the church.”
“Oh…”
“I want it highly publicized. All the magazines should feature it… Our wedding should reach every narrow corner…” he said everything slowly.

Paano kaya ang pamilya niya? Bigla akong kinabahan sa gusto niyang mangyari.

“I want the whole world to know that we are for each other. I hated being your secret… for a long time…”

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